Preference

 

Some folks asked me, "Do you prefer to keep your money at the bank or at home?"

Too Embarrassed

 "Hey... what happened to you!?"

"Forget it, I'm too embarrassed to say it."

"Oh come on!"

"I told him to stick it in my brown eye but he's dumb as fuck! Happy?"

Two Happy Rules

 

We should maintain two happy rules in life.

Habits

 Always take note of your habits.

One day they might give you away.

Breathtaking

 "Look, just breathe deep and relax, okay? It'll fit."

A Hint

Pay attention to whom your energy increases and decreases around,

Spelling Mistake

 A husband sent this to his wife:
"I'm having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

One spelling mistake can destroy your life.
I feel sorry for my cousin.

Dumbest Thing

 

What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?