Saturday, August 19, 2017

You do it right

the way you stare at me


the way your boobs stare at me


the way you carry yourself


the way you do the household chores


the way you stick your tongue out


the way you love your pet


the way you play in the water


the way you work out


the way you wash my car

Side effect



v
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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Subtle

1
A woman went to the concession stand and asked for a beer, but a young clerk there wanted to see verification of age.

"You've got to be kidding," she said. "I'm almost 40 years old."

He apologized, but he said he had to see some ID, it was policy.

So the woman showed the clerk her driver's license, and he finally served her the beer.

"That will be $6.25, please," he said.

She gave him $7.00 and told him to keep the change.

"The tip is for carding me," she said, with a smile.

As the woman walked away, the clerk murmured, "It works every time."


2
When Jenny's 5-year-old son opened a birthday present from his grandmother, he discovered that it was a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. Jenny wasn't so pleased to see that.

So she turned to her mother and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember when I was a kid, I was used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Her mother smiled, and answered, "Of course I remember."


3
"Honey, our computer isn't working, what should I do?" shouts a woman.

So her husband comes over, and solves her problem.

As he is walking away, she asks, "So, what was wrong?"

He replies, "It was an ID ten T error."

"Oh, what's that?" she asks.

"Just write it down," he says. "I'll explain later."

So she writes down: I D 1 0 T

That awkward moment









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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Life hacks

How to bargain like a pro.


Take away the porns 
on your husband's laptop.


The best breakfast 
you can ever make for your wife.


You're having a diarrhea 
but the only toilet is occupied.


An implication to your BF that 
you're willing to give him a BJ.


Remember, you don't need to buy a dildo.


How to get your crush to notice you.


A subtle way to seduce the pizza guy.

Dammit!








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Saturday, August 12, 2017

8 things we hate

Censorship


Fashion


Playground


Smartphone


Decaf coffee


Mommy


BFF


Children

8 places you should go

8 places you should go before you die

Workplace


School


Hospital


Cafe


Kitchen


Toilet


Ocean


Aloha Beaches