Saturday, December 30, 2017

A wise man once said...

I was so fat, I took a selfie last Christmas and it's still printing.

I'm very handsome and charming, I just made One Direction go another direction.

My wife put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

She's so heavy, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

If you wanted to know how long you had been sleeping, you should have taken a ruler with you.

When I'm bored at home, I sit on the TV to watch the couch.

Your teeth are so yellow, no wonder when you smile, traffic slows down!