Monday, July 10, 2017

Fail

1
"When you lose your hair in the front," one man says to the other, "it means you're a great thinker. If you lose it in the back, it means you're a great lover."

"Wow! I'm losing it in the front and in the back!" replies the other.

"Well," says the first man, "that means you think you're a great lover."


2
Two men were chatting in a pub.

"So, did you manage to date her?"

"Not yet, but I'm getting some encouragement now."

"Really, how so?"

"Last night she told me that she'd said 'NO' for the last time."


3
Two coworkers were having a conversation.

One of them complained, "I've become so short-sighted, and I can't afford to buy a new pair of glasses, so I almost worked myself to death."

The other asked, "You worked yourself to death so that you can earn money to buy a new pair of glasses?"

"No, I couldn't tell whether the boss was watching me or not, so I had to work all the time."


4
A Drill Sergeant says to the cadets, "Listen up! We have three rules here: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"

Want to check if he's got everyone's attention, he yells, "Tell me! What is the first rule?"

The cadets yell in unison, "Shut up! Drill Sergeant!"