Friday, December 30, 2016

A wise man once said...

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

If my mother is laughing at my father's jokes, it means they have guests.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?