Friday, December 23, 2016

A wise man once said...

My marriage is like a violin... after the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until I've solved it.

My love to you will never become cold and hollow.
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I was an ugly boy. One year they asked me to be a poster boy - for birth control.