A man married one of the identical twins, one year later he wanted a divorce.
When the judge demanded his reasons, he answered, "Your honor, it's this way. My wife's sister visits us a lot and I sometimes come home and make love to her by mistake."
The judge said, "Hmm... but surely there's some difference between the two women."
"You bet there is," replied the man. "That's why I want a divorce."
A woman went into a clubhouse to ask if anyone could offer her a lift, because her own car was in the workshop being serviced.
"Sure," said a man, "I'll give you a lift. My Rolls Royce is just outside."
As they were driving along, she asked, "Say, what's that thing on the dashboard making a soft humming sound all the time?"
"That's the clock," he replied.
"What's that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?"
"That's my tachometer."
"I see, and what's that..."
"Hold on a minute," said the man, "I can see that you've never been in a Rolls Royce before."
"Yes I have," she replied. "But I've never been in the front seat."