The joggers who drink coffee before they jog can run a lot faster, especially if they got the coffee at Starbucks because then their pockets were a lot lighter.
I went to a doctor, but all he did was suck blood from my neck... don't go see Dr. Acula.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt:
Short enough to arouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.