"Waiter!" said a customer.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Sir?" asked the waiter.
"Well, if this is coffee, please bring me some tea. If this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
"Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" asks a waiter.
"I'll have coffee." says the first customer.
"Me too, and be sure the cup is clean!" says the second customer.
So the waiter goes back to the kitchen and tell the cook, "Two coffee, with one in a clean cup."
A man walked into a restaurant and noticed a large sign on the wall:
'$100 If We Fail To Fill Your Order!'
When the waitress came to take his order, he said, 'I want horse dung on rye.'
She calmly wrote down his order and walked into the kitchen where all hell broke loose!
The restaurant manager finally stormed out of the kitchen and ran up to the man's table, put a $100 bill down on it and said, "You know what, this is the first time in ten years we run out of rye bread!"