A man told his wife, "Honey, I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me three thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
His wife asked, "Okay, what kind is it?"
Two women are chatting.
"Did you hear that Chloe's husband died?"
"No, what happened?"
"He had a heart attack while they were making love. He went straight from 'Oh, God!' to 'Hi, God!' "
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house had to call a family meeting.
The father said, "This is ridiculous. You all have to limit the use of the phone. I don't use this phone, I use the one at the office."
The mother said, "Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone."
The son said, "Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company cell phone."
The maid said, "So what's the problem? We all use our work telephones."