Girls want a lot of things from one guy.
Guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
In democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your Count that votes.
Life is like a role of toilet paper - hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.
I don't want my kids being grabbed by bad guys.
Therefore I only let my daughter hang out with better-looking kids.
Marriage is when a man and a woman become as one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Stress is when your wife is pregnant.
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.