Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Better be tough

1

A man was wandering around a fairy ground when he saw a fortune-teller's tent.

Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. 

"Oh..." said the old woman as she gazed into her crystal ball, "I see you are the father of two children." 

The man grinned, and replied, "That's what you think, I'm the father of three children."

The old woman grinned, and said, "That's what you think."


2

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. 

The mom says, "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight, your wish will come true!" 

Billy says, "Okay mommy." and goes to sleep. 

The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams, "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!" 

The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"


3

Two men were talking in the pub. 

One said, "Last night, I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula'." 

"Oh," said the other, "what was she like?"

"Hmm... she was about six foot three, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs."

The other responded, "Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like?"


4

Waking up after a restless night, a woman turned to her husband and frowned.

"I can’t believe it! All night long you kept cursing me in your sleep!" she complained.

He replied, "Who was sleeping?"