A little girl's face was all scratched up and bleeding.
Her mother was shocked, she exclaimed, "Oh my God! What happened to you?"
While sobbing, the little girl replied, "The cat next door did this to me."
"What!? How did it happen?"
"I heard daddy talking on the phone, he said he'd love to eat pussy, so I wanted to impress him..."
A man walked over to the perfume counter and said, "I'd like to buy this perfume, it's for my wife's birthday."
"I see, a little surprise for her, right?" smiled the saleslady.
"Yeah, a little surprise," replied the man, "she's expecting a trip to Japan."
A man came back from work and said, "I'm starving, is the dinner ready?"
His wife came out from the kitchen and said, "Honey, it is. Today I cooked your favorite food."
While the husband was enjoying his dinner and beer, he said, "Honey, I love you!"
His wife smiled and said, "Is it you or the beer talking?"
He responded, "It's me. Talking to my beer."
A man was on his way home with a new car, a brand new Ferrari, he hummed some songs when he was driving and suddenly he had a strange feeling that he had forgotten something.
So he pulled over, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, and finally decided that he had everything with him.
When he reached home, his daughter ran out to greet him, then she asked,
"Daddy, where's Mommy?"