A man was watching his favorite TV show when his wife said, "Honey, I just bought two branded ties for you, they're in the room, check them out!"
In order not to disappoint his wife, he went into the room, immediately put on one of them, and hurried back.
His wife frowned, and said, "Why? You didn't like the other one?"
A woman held her hands together and said to her husband,
"Guess what I have in my hands and you'll get a wild sex tonight."
The husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all, indifferently replied, "An elephant."
"Wow, That's correct!" she said.
His wife, in the kitchen, dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window.
"Where? Where?" she demanded.
"Right over there. The woman in the pink dress."
"You idiot! That's his wife!" she said.
He replied, "Yeah, who else did you expect?"
A man is busy at his work in the office when he gets a phone call from his wife.
"Honey, it's me, I miss you." says his wife.
The man replies, "I'm quite busy right now..."
"Okay," she says, "but honey, I've got some good news and some bad news for you."
"Well, honey," he replies, "since I've got no time now, just give me the good news, okay?"
She replies, "Okay, the air bag works..."