Friday, June 10, 2011

English Language

1

A woman was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.

After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking man, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

And the man replied, "Yeah, I'm glad it's done too!"


2

Two guys were chatting in a pub.

"You know what," said the first guy, "just a few days ago the lesbians next door asked me what I'd like for my birthday."

"That's amazing!" said the second guy. "What did they give you?"

"I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex." replied the first guy.

"Wow! It was very nice of them."

"Yeah, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, 'I wanna watch.' "


3

A Japanese woman went to the currency exchange window trying to exchange Yen for Dollars and she was getting a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Tell me, Why it change!? Yesterdai, I get two hunded dolla for yen. Todai I get hunded eighty. Why it change!?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Fluctuations."

The Japanese woman got furious, she yelled, "Fluc you white people too!"