Friday, June 10, 2011

How To Start A Fight

1

A coach asked a student, "Hey you, can you swim?"

"No, sir," replied the student.

"Well," said the coach, "that means a dog is better than you!"

The student asked, "But sir, can you swim?"

"Yes!" answered the coach.

"Too bad," said the student, "no difference between you and the dog."


2

Lying in bed, a wife tried to seduce her husband.

"Baby, you know what, I'm wet," she said.

"Oh, want a paper towel?" he asked.

"No honey, I want more than that, you know..."

"Want two paper towels?"

"No baby, I want something big and round..."

"Really!? You want the whole roll?!"


3

A famous speaker said, " The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife."

Audience was in shock and silence.

He then continued, "She was my mother."

Applause!

A man tried to crack this at home. After a few drinks, he said loudly to his wife in kitchen, "Well, the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife."

Standing for a while to recall the second half, he finally blurted out, 
"I can't remember who she was."