A man came home and started to pack all his stuff into boxes.
"What are you doing?" asked his wife.
"Honey, we have to leave!" he replied. "The government just made homosexuality legal."
"But we don't have to leave," said the puzzled wife.
He yelled, "I have to leave before they make it compulsory!"
A businessman asked his wife, "What would you like for your birthday? A Ferrari? A yacht? A Diamond?"
Coldly, she responded, "I want a divorce."
Calmly, he replied, "I wasn't planning to spend that much."
A woman goes to a new supermarket, because she has been told that this supermarket is using a nature-mimicking device.
When she approaches the milk cooler, she hears cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.
When she approaches the egg shelves, she hears hens clucking and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and fried eggs.
And the veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
She murmurs, "I surely won't buy toilet paper here!"