A man married one of the identical twins, one year later he wanted a divorce.
When the judge demanded his reasons, he answered, "Your honor, it's this way. My wife's sister visits us a lot and I sometimes come home and make love to her by mistake."
The judge said, "Hmm... but surely there's some difference between the two women."
"You bet there is," replied the man. "That's why I want a divorce."
Gary and Alan are twins, and Gary has an old boat.
One day, Gary's boat sinks. On the very same day, Alan's wife dies.
A few days later an old woman sees Gary, and mistaking him for Alan. The old lady says, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible."
Gary thinks that she is talking about his boat, so he replies, "The fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time for the weekend. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in her at the same time and split her right down the middle."