Two women are chatting.
"Me and my husband," says one of the women, "are no longer together."
"Oh, why?" asks the other.
"Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks a lot, has no job for eight years and always curses?"
"Hell no! of course I couldn't!"
"Well, he couldn't either!"
"Ben, why didn't you get married?" asked Sam.
"Well, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm still looking for the perfect girl!" replied Ben.
"Okay," said Sam, "but don't tell me that you haven't met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
Ben responded, "Oh yes, there was a girl once. I guess she was the perfect girl for me."
"And why didn't you marry her?" asked Sam.
Ben replied, "Well, she was looking for the perfect man."
A woman goes to her family doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor says, "I don't understand what you mean."
The woman asks, "What if I say he is 100% impotent?"
"That I understand." replies the doctor.
"Okay," says the woman, "he also burned his tongue and broke his fingers!"